I keep telling people that if I had known how great grandchildren are, I would have had them first! I am a mom times five and a grandmother times eight! These numbers include my stepdaughter and two stepsons, who between them have given my husband and me seven grandchildren. Please note here that I did not include any adjectives when sharing details about all my children and grands. That takes an extreme amount of self-control and restraint and will require me to sip my coffee and rest a moment…
Okay, I can continue. I am sure you have met those people. You know the ones. They cannot share anything in relation to their offspring without gushing and oozing their delight until you swear you have gotten a new cavity from the excessive sweetness of their cotton-candy grandchildren. I will admit that I have been known to ooze over my own babies, but I am aware of the issue and attempt to keep it to a non-cavity inducing level. Awareness is half the battle, right?
Most of our grands live in New York, which is about 900 miles away from us. The eldest of them has moved with her husband to Boston, and we look forward to making a trip there in the next few years. We typically only get to spend time together once a year when we travel north in the summer, which is a small window of time because it’s nearly in Canada and too cold for me about forty-eight weeks of the year! Plus, I had to plan my life around the school calendar, theirs and mine. This year is an exception because we are making our second visit this year in October for the eldest’s wedding. (No, I didn’t make a mistake. I did say she moved with her husband because they are already married because she needed to be on his insurance so they did a courthouse thing but are still having their wedding as originally planned. Yes, that is a run-on sentence. That’s how it came out of my head, so….)
Anywho (lol that’s how my dad used to say it 🥰 ), we have eight grandchildren, but only one lives near us. So yes, he is the one who we get to shower our attention and affection on all year long. He probably gets eight grandkids-worth, all but about 10 days a year! It is such a joy having him close. We are his after-school care. While I was still teaching, my hubs handled much of his afternoon care. This involved lots of tickling and Nutella for one of his many less-than-healthy snacks! I am pretty sure the boy could get almost anything he wants from his grandpa. “Smitten” barely scratches the surface!
My hubs is truly a grandpa to my son’s son, in ways he hasn’t been able to be with his children’s children. It is difficult to create the grandparent bond with children you only spend physical time with a week out of the year. Yet, over the last twenty years, we have managed to connect with them. When the NY grands were younger, we would try to cram a years-worth of activities into a week! We took them on shopping trips and let them pick out whatever they wanted (within a price range because I was a teacher and my hubs was on disability). We played together at their house, went to the zoo, the park, to lunch and to dinner at their favorite restaurants, Friendly’s and this Chinese buffet the name of which I can’t remember. We also frequently enjoyed (and still make) visits to Dairy Queen (maybe enjoyed too often!). We went to a local flea market, their ball games, to the Corn Festival, their scout events, their school concerts, kindergarten/ middle/high school graduations, and now college graduations and soon, the second grand wedding. And all of this time and money spent has been so worth it. They are amazing kids. The four eldest are all adults now, very busy working full-time or finishing their educational goals; two have husbands and they all have active social lives.
Yet all four contacted me on my last birthday. Me, the step-grandma. It makes me tear up as I type this. It is such an honor and blessing to be called Grandma and Grandpa. Blood may be thicker than water, but don’t for one minute believe that it makes you family. Love and commitment make you family. Take the time and make the effort. The results: priceless!
A sad yet funny grandchildren story: Many years ago, my husband went to NY to spend time with his mom who was not well. He was also able to see the grands. I didn’t go because I was in the last month of school. A few weeks later, when my sweet mother-in-law died, we went to NY for her funeral. While there, we were able to attend a school concert where one of our granddaughters was performing. The youngest grand was about three years old, and he remembered who his grandpa was from his recent visit, but he hadn’t seen me since the previous summer. When his grandpa asked if he knew who I was, the sweet boy struggled to answer. Finally, my husband helped him, reminding him that I am Grandma Becker. Without hesitation and in the sweetest voice, he looked at me quizzically and said, “I thought you died!” Out of the mouths of babes. I missed a portion of the performance as I couldn’t stop laughing and crying! And I told my husband that this was proof that I was right the first time he referred to me as Grandma Becker and I said, “No, that is your mother!”
Final note: it occurred to me as I explained that I have two married granddaughters that I could, at any time, become a GREAT GRANDMA! 😱 👵 😱 👵 😱 👵 I need to lie down! Have a blessed day.