If I may be so bold, I believe every woman has at least one female in her life that she refers to, and more importantly, feels emotional connection to, as a sister. The term “sister” is widely used to express a variety of relationships we have with a girl or woman. When you hear or read the word sister, who does it bring to mind? The traditional and most basic meaning of the word is “a woman or girl in relation to other daughters and sons of her parents.” However, this definition explains the biological connection and completely misses the essence of a TRUE sister; a sister is SO much more! Well, at least MY sister is.
For me, the word sister is synonymous with confidant, best friend, co-conspirator, adviser, protector, companion, defender, supporter, counselor…OK I’ll stop there. My sister, Jan (or Janice if you aren’t related to her), has always been an important part of my life and I can’t imagine doing life without her. It may be a bit inaccurate to say exactly that because mostly, we don’t do life “together” at all! It would be wonderful to get together weekly for lunch, go to Zumba twice a week, have family dinners on Sunday (like the Reagans on Blue Bloods), attend the same church, take our grandchildren to the park, play Bunco (Is that still a thing?), or just go shopping for nothing in particular.
A sister can dream, right? But my sister and I actually haven’t lived geographically close to each other since 1978! (Wait. What? Wow. At the time of this writing, that was 45 years ago! How did THAT happen? Especially since I am only 39!!) The last time we actually lived close enough to do life “together,” we were in high school. She moved to attend college over 300 miles away. *Some of y’all don’t even realize how different communication was “back in the day”! We had the US Postal Service and expensive long distance phone calls. (No smoke signals and the dinosaurs had been gone for a while by then.) I was busy finishing high school, working part time, and spending most of my time with my boyfriend and BFF. Jan was busy in college and meeting new people. She surprised us all by getting her MRS. degree a year later! (But that is a different story.)
Squirrel. Where was I? Oh yes, my point: you do NOT have to live near someone to BE in a close relationship. It is easier to feel close when you can be together regularly. But do NOT make the mistake that distance creates distance; that’s true only if you allow it! As in any relationship, you do have to be intentional and make the most of the opportunities that you have. Visit as often as possible whether by text, email, phone call, Zoom, FaceTime or (always my preference) in person. Today, it is easier than ever before to stay connected. There are really no excuses to be out-of-touch with anyone, near or far. (Stepping down off my soapbox…)
I remember so many cherished moments, times I learned how important my sister is to me and how much I love and appreciate ALL she is in my heart and my life. I was sure no one, especially she, would, nor could, ever feel as I do about her, nor could anyone ever feel about me. And then one day a few years ago, we were talking-I am not even sure what about (probably about the months of illness of our mom before her death). But I distinctly remember that Jan paused and made sure I was looking at her face. I will never forget what she said, with so much love, intensity, and appreciation in her eyes: “You are the best person I know!”
My typical M.O. is a snappy one-liner comeback usually laced in sarcasm and designed to deflect or devalue the accuracy of a compliment because it couldn’t be true. I have always had a Joan Rivers’ mentality stemming from insecurity and weak self-esteem. But for this one moment, this amazing, heart-filling moment, I just let the comment marinate through myself, not looking away from its origin, but absorbing the moment so it could live in me for the rest of my life. I think about it and replay it in my mind often. It has become the yardstick to which I measure myself…
I truly hope that you have a sister like mine in your life. I hope you ARE a sister like mine to someone in your life. If it is done right, it will be like no other relationship you have. May you be as richly blessed by each other as we are.
Have a blessed day.